Here and Now

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It’s hard for me to believe that my most recent post was on July 30th. I’d decided, when I started to blog, that I’d be intentional about it, keep a schedule and inform you of my plans if my schedule were to change. Somehow, it has been nearly a month since I’ve posted, and all without a word of explanation. Intention can slip away from action while still being held in the heart.

That’s because the explanations, like so many things in life, are only clear in retrospect. At the time, and over the time since, well, I have experienced a fair amount of overwhelm: getting back to San Francisco after a five weeks in Canada and trying to get organized and regulated; work on the condo ongoing (the famous “impressive hole” in our slab was only filled with fresh concrete the Friday before we returned!) including the installation of new wood flooring and then painting, and a bath cabinet and plumbing that didn’t work as expected after (say it with me now) MORE THAN SIX MONTHS OF WORK AND DELAYS; and house guests and a sick pet and getting ready to leave town again…

I was grappling with a sense of overwhelm when I last posted, and it only intensified in the weeks following.  Now, however, I’m now on Vancouver Island North, with my spouse and our good friend Richard. In my last post, I described vacation as one of my “other miseries” and yet I am reminded, again, that the worst vacation is better than almost anything else.  And this has been a wonderful vacation so far.

The weather has been spectacular. This part of the world is known for rain – we have been here when it rained every day for a week — and we have been lucky to have clear skies and calm seas. We’ve had great fly fishing for ‘pink’ salmon at the Keogh River, had a few somewhat close calls with bears there just to spice things up a bit, and been smoking the fruits of our labor most of the week. (The picture above is of me and my first salmon, a respectable but not overly large fish. I caught three that day – the limit is four – and the last was the largest.)

I took my standup paddleboard out on the very calm waves on Tuesday for the first time, which was both easy and exhilarating. We’ve also had time to hike and hunt for mushrooms.  Yesterday we found a cache of hedgehog mushrooms, garnish for our grilled chicken dinner, just off the trail to a beach where we found bear prints, those of a mother and cub, in the sand. I am in awe of the bounty and beauty of this place, tripping from one find to another delight. In all of this, there has been peace and ease.

Being away from home, in spite of my resistance to packing up and leaving, has been restorative. We are in comfortable cabins here, right at the beach and surrounded by trees and eagles and ocean waves. I have wanted to find an eagle feather for several years now, and in the last few days have found more than a dozen. Our friend Richard says: “Now they are winking at you where ever you go!”

My main challenge has been to let go of doing, and allow myself to do nothing, or something, as the moment calls. I think of it as being here and now. I’ve had good sleep (and yet still want more!), good exercise and fresh air, and a fair amount of just sitting and listening to the waves. Something about vacation makes it “okay” to do little, or to follow whim; I’d like to be in this place of just being more readily and without the ‘cover’ of vacation. Wherever I am, I want to be here and now.

We pack out of the Cluxewe Resort on Sunday morning, and meet the Hurst Isle in Port Hardy on Sunday afternoon for our trip to God’s Pocket. While others scuba dive this coming week, I will have more time to practice laying low, following my mood and wants, enjoying the beauty of British Columbia. It is my intention to post next Wednesday, and to reflect on what my ‘here and now’ is then.

Love,
Susan

I usually post about once a week, usually on Wednesday or Thursday, but sometimes, like today, on Fridays… I’m coming off a month of quiet and hope to post regularly again. Get regular updates via email from DancingOnTheWayHome by clicking the “follow” button (on your tablet or pc screen – the mobile screens somehow don’t show it!). And thanks for reading!

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